Berline Exantus ENC 2135
January 14th, 2019
Prompt 1
I feel the most heard when I worked at Subway, people knew what I was saying and who I was saying it too. I felt like I had control and authority, unlike now where my voice just drowns out and I can’t even get a customer to understand that we’re out of straws and lids, which is stupid as hell because I’m not a quiet person. I remember being able to project my voice across the lobby and having even the furthest person hear me during out peak rush hour, over the loud music and chatter, and the normal hustle and bustle of the Subway Café. Whenever line two opened I would be there to greet each expecting customer and I had the pleasure of knowing about half of their orders and getting their foods in and out of the oven ASAP. I also felt the most heard whenever I was silent, it tipped someone off that I wasn’t feeling well, or I wasn’t in the mood for chit chat. This was confusing though because I think people find it annoying that I talk too much but they find it sad when I don’t talk enough because I’m generally a talkative friendly person. I can’t shut up sometimes and I don’t realize I need to shut up only until it’s too late. I’m worried about this becoming an issue when I work for Patlive because I know I have to listen more than talk and I don’t want to talk over someone when trying to help them. I wonder what calls I’ll be receiving when I work there. I wonder if people will think I’m too quiet, I wonder if my neighbor will ask me to keep my voice down. I wonder if the headsets they provide are the only ones I’m allowed to use. I would love to be able to purchase my own headphones because I KNOW I won’t be able to hear over some loud people. I need to also bring a small cordless fan because that office air was hot and NASTY. Like ew the amount of humidity in the air from the hot breaths and the lack of communication, I have to try my best and not order red lobster since it’s so near, I can’t wait to try that soup I made last night.
A place that I feel spoken to? Huh. I don’t really know, I always only feel spoken to whenever I speak to someone. I look mean sometimes so people are less likely to approach me but once they get to know me they see that I’m a loveable dumb ass. I feel like I feel the most spoken to whenever I’m having a one on one conversation with someone who’s having a bad day, or maybe when I’m talking to Amanda. She talks a lot and its great. I appreciate Amanda, I want to make more friends like Amanda. I feel like I’m the one who makes the most out of conversations, does that mean I’m shallow or a narcissist? I feel like I bring the most to a conversation but its not because I don’t want to listen to someone else its because I don’t know how to fill awkward silences. I generally hate awkward silences, it makes me feel like I haven’t been heard
A place where its complicated? I would say my house, I can’t stand my roommate when I’m on my period and it’s a week before its due? Like sometimes I like chatting with her but other times I cannot stand her presence and I’m ready to snap at her. Another place where its complicated, Fort Lauderdale. I have a love and hate relationship with that city, everything is over priced and the coast line is coming further in but at the same time
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